Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Easter Weekend or Confessions from the Gut

We ran out of dog food on Saturday. It was a busy weekend with company and sick kids, and I didn't get over to the fancy store to buy the fancy dog food preferred by Malcom's delicate digestive system. So when Malcom was hungry Saturday evening I gave him some cooked white rice from the fridge. But then he was hungry again on Sunday, and I still hadn't been shopping. So he got half a leftover grilled pork chop. But this fuzz ball really burns the calories with all that sleeping he does, so last evening I treated him to leftovers from Saturday's breakfast: scrambled eggs with sausage. He enjoyed the indulgences at the time, but he's spent the morning running back and forth between the bed (where he lies, his uncomfortable sighs barely audible over his gurgling tummy) and the back yard (where he eats grass).

This dog's really got to learn when to say when.

Speaking of saying when, I made my Mom's famous orange rolls for Easter dinner on Sunday. For reasons I cannot possibly explain, the dough part of the recipe is written for a batch of 2 dozen rolls, but the glaze makes enough for 4 dozen rolls. It's no big deal, really, because there's no such thing as too much orange glaze. And most of the time you're cooking for a holiday crowd and you're better off doubling the dough for 4 dozen rolls anyway. (Do not think you can get by with just two-a-piece of these babies.) But the point is that every time I pull out the recipe to make it I'm forced to make a mathematical choice: do I half all the ingredients for the sauce section, or double the dough section? Our Easter crowd was small (5 adults, 2 sick kids), so I knew I didn't need 4 dozen deliciously sweet and fattening rolls. But I wanted to take Easter treats to some friends, and who wouldn't want fresh (possibly warm) sweet rolls? It's hardly any more trouble to make 4 dozen than 2, so it's a no brainer, right?

Right. Until Sunday afternoon/evening. When I started feeling poopy just like the kids, and knew I wasn't getting out to make deliveries. And Monday was out because I still felt poopy. Plus these rolls are really tastiest within the first 24 hours. And who's going to want baked goods from a house afflicted with all sorts of digestive maldies? Not you, that's who! (You're welcome.)

And so, none of the extra 3 dozen or so rolls made it out the door. I won't tell you where they did make it, but I will tell you there are only three (3!) left. And I will tell you that I will miss them when they're gone.

And now, I'm off to the back yard to eat some grass.


Mrs. Donut said...

Oh, no! I'm sorry ya'll were poopy-feeling. I hope that everyone is better. And one day, when you are feeling less poopy, you'll make those rolls and enjoy them and enjoy sharing them, and there will be much enjoyment all around. I hope that day will be soon!

Amber said...

ok I just read this post and ROFL! Did the grass help?