Saturday, October 06, 2007

Fashion Tips

OK, I get it. Grace is cute. She's got a soft head and a sweet smile, and she doesn't cry that much (except when I step on her, or cover her in blankets, or steal her toys). So, yeah, she's adorable. But I wish you people would just stop gushing over her wardrobe! Because to be honest, it's predictable. And boring. And embarrassing. All the pink and the flowers and the furry woodland creatures? Beneath the smiles she must be so humiliated.

Of course, it's not entirely her fault. She's little, and she doesn't know she has a choice about what she wears. But if she doesn't put her little baby foot down soon, things are only going to get worse. Yesterday I saw Boss eying a fuzzy pink bunny snowsuit. I managed to get us out of the store with a well-timed tantrum, but I won't always be there to avert fashion disaster. So I've decided to take my baby zister into my tutelage, and share my portfolio of fashion tips. So here it is Grace. I hope you're paying attention.

First, footwear is important (even if you can't walk). A carefully selected set of shoes and socks shows the world you're ready for the day, not matter what else you're (not) wearing.

But do not overlook the other end. The head is a blank canvas (yours especially, Grace). Embellish!
Now, when you're comfortable with head and foot couture, you're ready to get creative with the stuff in between. Start small with simple accessories, like a neck tie. Or a ladybug cup.

Layer your favorite finds over basic pieces--classics, if you will--to anchor your look. You'll be amazed at how versatile these key pieces can be. Here's one of my favorites, a striking green turtleneck (circa 1973) embellished with athletic balls and pachyderms. I found it in a box of hand-me-downs a couple years ago, and I've been wearing it as frequently as possible ever since. It's perfect for any activity, as the following snapshots (each taken on a different day) illustrate.

Don't worry if you can't pick just one piece. Layers always work.

And don't let Mommy tell you "it's too hot for all those shirts." It's not true. Your cheeks may flush. You may sweat profusely. But it's never too hot to wear what you want to wear. These are the sacrifices you have to be willing to make for fashion.

Now, I don't want to overwhelm you. You need to take baby steps. And when you're a little more comfortable with nonconformity and more practiced at deflecting Mommy's "suggestions," that's when the fun really starts.

The look shown here is quite advanced, but it gives you an idea of where you can go once you're ready to embrace your personal style. Ignore the fashion pundits who demand you limit yourself to just one bag per ensemble, or reserve pajama pants for evening wear. All it takes is confidence to pull something like this off. Refuse to be defined by flowers and bunnies!

I believe you can do it, Gracie. Your own inhibitions are all that's standing in the way. Well, that and Mommy.


Ree said...

Oh Sam, you make me laugh! I'm glad Grace has a brother as concerned and thoughtful as you.

Mrs. Donut said...

Sam, you've really come into your own individual style. I like it. Thanks for teaching Grace. Hey, really, thanks for teaching us all.

Lady said...

Boss - You (Sam) are so creative. I love your writing. I thoroughly LOVED reading that post and seeing all of Sam's unique style!

Peanut said...

Great fashion tips, Sam! Grace is one lucky girl to have you helping her in the fashion department!

Anonymous said...

What a hilarious set of photos! And I'm barely able to breathe again after the deep wisdom imparted therewith. *phew*


Tara said...

Thanks for the laughs! I need some more fashion sense of my own. Good thing I only have boys right now!