For the past several weeks I've been taking Grace to story time at our local branch library. She loves it. She's the youngest regular attendee, and the more mature 3 and 4-year-olds dote on her like little grandmothers. They hold her hands, help her into her chair, pat her back, play with her hair and talk to her in imitation baby-talk. They're pretty cute.
But the best storytime grandmother is actually an aunt: Aunt Honey Bunny. She brings Josh (the only boy in the group) every week. And every week she has a new delicious treat to share with the kids (and parents). Last week it was hand-made chocolate lollipop ducks. My favorite!
I assume that "Honey Bunny" is not Aunt Honey Bunny's given name, but that's what everyone --library staff included-- calls her. I've thought about asking her real name, but that would wreck the charm. I'd still eat a chocolate lollipop duck from Aunt Mildred or Aunt Hortense, of course, but I'm not sure I'd let Grace have one.
And Grace deserves all the chocolate lollipop ducks she can get. And they shouldn't come from strangers. They should come from YOU! The unchallenged favorite! The envy of aunts and uncles around the globe! Yes, you there, with the catchy avuncular* moniker!
Are you the one? Perhaps. Prove it by submitting your proposed nickname below. The winner will receive a chocolate lollipop duck. And also the privilege of choosing his/her own appellation. Instead of one assigned by me.
Good luck, Uncle Chunky Monkey.
*I'm not trying to be sexist here. It's just that avantular is not a word. Take it up Merriam Webster.