Why I Love the Dollar Store: A Public Service Announcement for Our Female Readers

We watched Fever Pitch the other night. It made me a little bit crazy. Here's why: A ways into the movie the female lead (Drew Barrymore) suspects that she is pregnant. This suspicion is based on the observation that her period is 10 days late. Drama ensues, but I can't buy any of it past "ten days late." I wonder: Why would she sit around for a week and a half thinking she might be pregnant and not take necessary measures to find out for sure?

And then it occurrs to me: maybe she doesn't know that Dollar Tree stores carry an at-home pregnancy test that is just as reliable as your pricier brands for the low, low price of--you guessed it--ONE DOLLAR! Sure, with the dollar store brand you have to pee into a cup instead of onto a stick, but that's just good practice for when the test is positive and you end up regularly peeing into cups at your obstetrician's office.

Coach teases me, but I like to have at least one test on hand at all times. Even though I'm not expecting to be pregnant in the immediate future, when I am I want to be among the first to know. So I check regularly. Feeling extra tired? Pee into a cup. A little queasy? Pee into a cup. Period 45 seconds late? Pee into a cup. Inexplicably happy? Here's a cup. Get peeing. I pee with reckless abandon when pregnancy tests are only one dollar each. And for anyone who's wondering, I'm not pregnant. I just checked.