Let's be candid

This tastes... remarkably... like dirt.

I don't want to brag, but I look good.

Umm... I've got backward down, but haven't mastered forward. Can someone give me a hand?

Yum!

Carnivores

Sam and I have seen this commercial on TV several times this week, and have enjoyed a hearty laugh together each time. (Turkey defenestration never gets old.) So he recognized the whole, raw turkey when I took it out to prepare it for Thanksgiving dinner a few days ago. As I dressed it, Sam asked if there was an "animal turkey" inside this turkey. I explained in vague terms that this pasty blob was an "animal turkey" that had died and had its feathers removed. He asked the same question a few more times during dinner prep, and I gave him the same answer. I didn't think he got it.

Later, during Thanksgiving dinner, Sam refused the turkey with the announcement that he didn't want to eat animals. Three-and-a-half seems a little young to go vegetarian, but I told him (through stifled laughter) that I respected his decision. And he'd still have to try his sweet potatoes and corn.

On the other hand, Gracie, with her tray full of graspable delicacies, went almost exclusively for the turkey. We couldn't restock fast enough. And Malcom (poor Malcom) didn't get as much turkey as he would have liked either. He spent his Thanksgiving dinner hour staring at the partially carved carcass on the counter, whimpering quietly.

In short, no one was happy about the meaty chunk situation around here except me and Coach. And that's just how we like it. Gobble gobble.

Aloha!

Hawai'i isn't just something you can blog about in a minute and be done. The photos alone could take 47 days to upload. So, I'll just start simply. Here we are having some fun:

Proof

"Where's Sam?" you may ask. He's right here, on the other end of this phone call.

Bullet points

I haven't been blogging a lot lately, which is a shame because I see it as one of the best ways to keep in touch with family and friends who are far away, while at the same time keeping a record of our daily lives. Plus its a fun creative outlet and gives me a chance to write and stuff. So I want to do it more often. The trouble is, I'm a slow blogger. I ruminate for many hours about how and what to write, and then I edit and edit and edit some more. And then I publish. And then I may edit and republish several more times. This style doesn't work out well with two kids constantly clamoring for access to me (and, let's face it, the computer). I think of something I want to write about, but I don't do it because I don't have a long stretch of uninterrupted time to do it, and then days and weeks and months pass, and by Easter that post about my cute kids in their Halloween costumes seems obsolete.

But I want to get back on the blogwagon. Recently, I was really inspired by this talk, which made me think that I needed to restructure my blogging habits and express my gratitude more frequently. So I think that means more writing and less editing.

What that means for you is that you still have to leave frequent comments telling me I'm funny and my kids are cute, even if my posts are completely incoherent. Or worse: boring. Have we got a deal?

With that out of the way, here's a quick update on the topics currently in my mental file folders, marked with mental "blog this" sticky tabs.

• It's already snowing in Buffalo.
• Which is why I'm glad I'm in Hawaii.
  

October update

I don't have the energy or creativity to be as clever as Boss in writing a post. But wait--don't close the window quite yet! I have a secret compensator: the world's cutest kids.

Exhibit A: Gracie accessorizes in an effort to take Sam's advice on bold fashion.

(Also, this may help people to guess her gender a little more easily--something that has been an occasional problem.)

And here are some photos of my cute family last week at the pumpkin patch. Thousands of pumpkins, animals, hay rides, pumpkin cannons... it was pretty great.

Fashion Tips

OK, I get it. Grace is cute. She's got a soft head and a sweet smile, and she doesn't cry that much (except when I step on her, or cover her in blankets, or steal her toys). So, yeah, she's adorable. But I wish you people would just stop gushing over her wardrobe! Because to be honest, it's predictable. And boring. And embarrassing. All the pink and the flowers and the furry woodland creatures? Beneath the smiles she must be so humiliated.

Of course, it's not entirely her fault. She's little, and she doesn't know she has a choice about what she wears. But if she doesn't put her little baby foot down soon, things are only going to get worse. Yesterday I saw Boss eying a fuzzy pink bunny snowsuit. I managed to get us out of the store with a well-timed tantrum, but I won't always be there to avert fashion disaster. So I've decided to take my baby zister into my tutelage, and share my portfolio of fashion tips. So here it is Grace. I hope you're paying attention.

First, footwear is important (even if you can't walk). A carefully selected set of shoes and socks shows the world you're ready for the day, not matter what else you're (not) wearing.

But do not overlook the other end. The head is a blank canvas (yours especially, Grace). Embellish!
Now, when you're comfortable with head and foot couture, you're ready to get creative with the stuff in between. Start small with simple accessories, like a neck tie. Or a ladybug cup.


Layer your favorite finds over basic pieces--classics, if you will--to anchor your look. You'll be amazed at how versatile these key pieces can be. Here's one of my favorites, a striking green turtleneck (circa 1973) embellished with athletic balls and pachyderms. I found it in a box of hand-me-downs a couple years ago, and I've been wearing it as frequently as possible ever since. It's perfect for any activity, as the following snapshots (each taken on a different day) illustrate.



Don't worry if you can't pick just one piece. Layers always work.

And don't let Mommy tell you "it's too hot for all those shirts." It's not true. Your cheeks may flush. You may sweat profusely. But it's never too hot to wear what you want to wear. These are the sacrifices you have to be willing to make for fashion.

Now, I don't want to overwhelm you. You need to take baby steps. And when you're a little more comfortable with nonconformity and more practiced at deflecting Mommy's "suggestions," that's when the fun really starts.

The look shown here is quite advanced, but it gives you an idea of where you can go once you're ready to embrace your personal style. Ignore the fashion pundits who demand you limit yourself to just one bag per ensemble, or reserve pajama pants for evening wear. All it takes is confidence to pull something like this off. Refuse to be defined by flowers and bunnies!

I believe you can do it, Gracie. Your own inhibitions are all that's standing in the way. Well, that and Mommy.

For Grace's benefactors

For months I've been stockpiling photos of Grace in various outfits given to her by family and friends. Would you like to see them?

You would? Great!

***

Here she is all suited up to run her first baby marathon in an outfit sent by my dear friend Mrs. Donut. My favorite part about this ensemble is the high contrast racing stripe. It slenderizes her powerful baby thighs while drawing the eye downward to her shapely baby feet. On top, the curves of the polka-dot piping subtly complement her baby pot-belly, ensuring that even if she's not the fastest baby runner, she'll always place first in style.

(You'll also notice Sam's high-fashion rain boots, which he picked out all by himself at the local Salvation Army store. You gotta love a kid with thrift and style.)

After an exhausting day of exercise, Grace likes to kick back. Here she is lounging in a soft, organic cotton dress set hand-selected by Aunt Peanut. In honor of Aunt Peanut's kind patronage, Gracie makes a point of spitting up voluminously every time she wears this festive little frock. (That is, afterall, how Grace showed her appreciation for Aunt Peanut's doting during her visit last March.)

Every girl needs an outfit versatile enough to go from morning play date to afternoon picnic. Thanks to this adorable little number from Aunt Ree , Gracie's never under-dressed. A lace trim and tea-length cut add a touch of formality to the comfortable denim styling of these darling capris. And the hand-stitched peasant blouse is delicate and feminine with detailing that draws the eye upward to Grace's bright blue eyes and luminously bald head. With simple accessories like a hat, pacifier, and blankie, this girl's ready for anything!

No tour through Gracie's wardrobe would be complete without a nod to the evening wear that so flatters her classic baby physique. This stylish suit, also from Mrs. Donut, is embellished with a simple lace ruffle at the collar, making it the perfect choice dining, dancing, or sleeping.

It's no wonder that this girl turns heads everywhere she goes. Still, as gratifying as it is to have such a sharp-dressed baby, the best part of dressing Ms. Grace in these fabulous outfits is being reminded of the people I love.