The scene: Coach and Boss's bed, just before Sam's bedtime. Sam is standing on Coach's pillow in a onesie, pressing buttons on the clock radio.
Boss (to Coach): Do you ever just look at him and think he's the most perfect little human ever? I mean, look at those chubby legs.
(Sam looks alarmed, glances down at legs, then looks at Boss, clearly insulted. He climbs off bed and leaves the room.)
The scene: The dinner table. The family is just finishing a meal of spaghetti and salad. Sam is shirtless and covered in noodles.
Sam: Messy hands. Messy messy messy messy messy hands.
Coach: Oh? Just your hands are messy? The rest of your body is pristine?
(Sam scowls at Coach.)
Coach: Don't scowl at me. Your Mommy's the one laughing at you.
Sam turns to Boss: Shhhhh! (Continues scowling.)